physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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