Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize