The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
