i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
