Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
