i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
