just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
