is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
