After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
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