New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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