Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
