quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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