Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
