The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
