College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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