in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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