oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Less talking, more tequila
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
