After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
