Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
