idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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