is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
