Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
