dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
