my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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