More tranny stories later!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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