the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
