Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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