The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
