If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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