when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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