Small penises have feelings too.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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