I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Farmville is her only friend.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
