Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
