Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
