So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
