Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
