Don't make out with my wife yet
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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