If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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