Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
