if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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