I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
