The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
