I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
