I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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