I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
