No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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