i wish starbucks made bloody marys
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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