Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
