the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
