Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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