I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
