i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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