Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
