Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
