I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
