Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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