You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
