I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
