break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
