So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
