and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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