hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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